The Eighth Page

Gender Crisis Amounts in the Boys’ Locker Room

As I was frolicking about the Borden Gym after my five o’clock FIT class, I wandered down the stairs and through a set of doors that led me to a long hallway.

The paths diverged, and I couldn’t help but notice that the girls invariably skipped to the left, and the boys strutted over to the right. This left me wondering: why the divide?

Although few people have dared to speak out about the boys’ locker room, the truth must be revealed. I have heard that it is like the gladiator games in there. Many crises occur within the locker room, from issues ranging to who has the highest caliber protein powder to who is pulling off the swagtastic Do-You-Even-Lift-Bro walk the best.

How can we combat such discriMANation on our campus? We need to mix the locker rooms. Separate is unequal, my friends.

The Andover community can no longer keep quiet about this matter. I call upon the powers vested in the student body to become active in this pressing issue. Let us mix the locker rooms, and unlock the legends. Now that is a great slogan.