The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Highlights from a Perfect Celebration of Patriots’ Day (4/20)

8:00 a.m.: Wake up bright and early!! Prepare for a sit-in in front of Sam Phil for 4/20 Day On. 

8:30 a.m.: Sneak out of Paul Revere and pass by George Washington Hall to admire the country’s greatest minds. Then, get picked up by your carriage to Boston.

10 a.m.: Make some new friends in an alleyway! As they topple over each other, you notice that they are having an awesome time celebrating 4/20. 

2 p.m.: Head over to the Boston Marathon with your new friends. Make sure to give Ms. Murata a Big Blue Gratitude Gatorade to thank her for cheering on all the Andover Alum runners.

7 p.m.: After returning to campus, find some awesome scenery in the sanctuary; be secretive so you don’t get sanc-ed in the sanc…

9:31 p.m.: Sneak to the Borden rooftop for some festivities and beverages: red, white, and blue flavored.