The Eighth Page

Jousting Team Spears the Competition

Hear ye, hear ye! A new age of Andover jousting is upon us! The season started off smashingly this past weekend as the jousting team trampled Loomis on their way to victory.

Sira Lancealittle ’14, the team’s Captain and star knight, was excited to start the season off on the right hoof: “It felt great to get back on the horse, especially after last season’s fiasco when I fell off the horse. Cause what do you do when you fall off the horse? You get back on.”

For those wretched, illiterate peasants who were previously unable to read about the jousting scandal in their local scroll, but have since learned the ways of consonants and vowels, Lancealittle was suspended for the majority of last jousting season after brewing a potent batch of mead in his Taylor Hall dorm room, which caused him to be de-horsed. Missing their best rider and quite incapacitated due to the mead and de-horsal, the team suffered and fell to a 2-11 record.

Veteran coach, Kingsley Arthur, who is now in his 117th season at Andover (and is rumored to be in possession of a certain sacred chalice) was elated with how his Senior Captain rides.

“Sira was ready to ride today. He took advantage of Loomis’s Chaffee (apparently they forgot their under armour back in Connecticut) and knocked some great, though uncomfortable, knights off of their horses.”

In the joust, a knight is nothing without his equine companion. This past weekend Lancealittle was riding on Gallophad, a PG stallion from Kentucky.

When asked to comment on the weekend’s victory, Gallophad merely whinnied, because… well, he’s a horse.

“It was tough trying to squeeze Gallophad through admissions,” Coach Arthur stated. “He didn’t interview well, suffered from illiteracy and was rumored to have a GPA of zero. But when I showed some of the people over at Shuman Admission Center the videos of him trotting and jumping, they were amazed at his majesty. They said something about admitting youth from every quarter, whatever that means.”

Together, Lancealittle and Gallophad seem to think they have a chance of running the round tables at this year’s prep championship.

“We should have a shot if we don’t get caught up in all that chivalry malarkey. Ain’t nobody got time for that,” Lancealittle commented on the matter.

For more updates on Lancealitte, Gallophad and all things joust-related, follow @phillipianfeech or @phillipiansprts…Just follow them both, why don’t ye?