The Eighth Page

All-School Meeting

As summer draws nearer and students get angrier with the intensity of their classes, one would think that next year’s All-School Meetings aren’t a high priority right now. For me, they are. I love All-School Meetings. It’s the highlight of my week. I camped out in front of Cochran Chapel for two days to hear the results of the bell chimes survey. The All-School Meeting when Mrs. Chase read the “ABC’s of Andover” was the high point of my school year, maybe even my life. So you can imagine my excitement when I begin to think of potential ideas for ASM next year. Here are a few I’ve come up with. Dog Snowblindness Awareness Day It is a growing problem in America. Every day, more and more dogs suffer from snowblindness. If we, the student body at Andover, can band together and fight this problem, we may be able to stop it once and for all. Restless Leg Syndrome Awareness If you’ve ever seen the advertisements for national newscasts, you know the lethal and crippling effects of Restless Leg Syndrome. This silent killer must be brought to the attention of Andover students before it’s too late, because no one wants to suffer from “creepy-crawly” sensations or even “ants in the pants”. Those are the worst. Live Performance by Phil Collins My favorite musician, Phil Collins would rock the house with such hits as “Sussudio” and “Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)”. His smooth sounds and catchy melodies would make him a sure fan favorite amongst everyone in Cochran Chapel over 60. If Phil can’t show, there are a few alternates, such as Rod Stewart, Vanilla Ice, and Huey Lewis and the News. Retaliation for the Head of School Day Prank Head of School Day would be announced by Mrs. Chase near the end of an All School Meeting during winter term. After five minutes of euphoria inside the Chapel, a sudden “NAHHHHHT” will be yelled, and Andover’s hopes for another Head of School Day will be crushed, much to the disappointment of the student body. All-School Debate: What does Ryley Room really smell like? It’s a good question. When you walk into Ryley, what is that smell? Some say it is that kinda nasty cinnamon/bread dough stuff that comes in those plastic containers. Some say it is pizza. Some say it is the smell of the nocturnal animals who reside there. Whatever side you are on, this would be an engaging and compelling argument that would inspire thought and debate over one of the school’s most pressing issues. The Penis Statue: Friend or Foe? The question is simple: when people from outside of our community see a massive sculpture that blatantly resembles male genitalia on our grounds, what conclusions do they draw about our school? That question will be debated. I’ve emailed many people to try and get these ideas for All-School Meetings heard, but strangely, no one has emailed me back. I feel that it is my duty to raise awareness about Restless Leg Syndrome, and it is tragic that my voice is not being heard on these topics. However, I’m sure that more important ASM’s have been scheduled, but even if I do not get these issues into the public spectrum, I have a plan B. I could pretend to be a spoken word artist. This would almost definitely land me a spot. Then I could write poems about these problems, like dog snowblindness, that I feel are worthy of individual All-School Meetings. It can’t hurt to try.