While most people are taught about the dangers of date rape drugs, drunken hook-ups, and violent strangers, Katie Koestner’s discussion on Monday night told the story of a rapist familiar to his victim. Ms. Koestner spoke about her experience in college, when she became one of the 84% of rape victims that know their rapist. Ms. Koestner told Uppers and new Seniors the story of her rape as an eighteen-year-old freshmen at the College of William and Mary in 1990. She stressed that rape can often occur without the influence of drugs, and in settings more comfortable than the stereotypical dark alley. Ms. Koestner has become a spokeswoman for date rape prevention, which was a rarely discussed issue before her story made her a public figure. According to Koestner, the term “date rape” did not exist while she was in high school. Ms. Koestner related the incident moment by moment during her speech, telling students that rape can arise unexpectedly from a situation that feels safe, noting that her rapist was a familiar friend. Ms. Koestner was a freshman in college when she was raped. She had been out to dinner with another student named Peter, who mshe had befriended a week earlier. She described him as an ideal prospective boyfriend: attractive, amusing, intelligent and wealthy. At dinner, Ms. Koestner and Peter had two sips and two glasses of champagne, respectively. They then went back to her dorm room from the restaurant, though Ms. Koestner said that neither one of them was intoxicated enough to be impaired in any way. At that point, Ms. Koestner found herself in an uncomfortable situation, as Peter tried to remove her dress. After pushing him away the first time, and after his continual insisting, she eventually decided to let Peter spend the night in her bed. Ms. Koestner emphasized that liking Peter made her decisions much more complicated than they might seem from the outside looking in. At about 5 a.m., Peter woke up and found Ms. Koestner sitting awake in the corner. He apologized sincerely, urging her to get some sleep. This restored her trust in Peter enough to feel safe closing her eyes. As she let her guard down for the second time, he raped her. After being told to forget about the incident by her parents and the college dean, Ms. Koestner saw the school nurse, who gave her pills and suggested that she go get some rest. She eventually pressed charges, defining “date rape” for the first time. She has since been speaking out in an effort to educate the world, especially students, about date rape. Lindsey Branson ’08 stayed after the seminar to talk with Ms. Koestner about her courageous efforts. Branson said, “She’s my hero. To be able to talk about something so personal and so scarring is the hardest thing in the world. It takes a lot of courage and is very admirable.” Zach Feldman ’08 also appreciated the talk, though he commented that it was difficult to fit in to his hectic Upper year schedule. “I think that it was a good talk and it was a good thing to go to and for them to have, but it was just probably the worst night of the worst week of the worst term of the year because it’s Upper Year and it’s the week before Assessment Week. Everyone has a lot of work and it’s a pretty bad time to have it, especially on a Monday night,” he said. Since she was raped, Ms. Koestner has brought the issue of date rape into the limelight. She has appeared on numerous television networks and programs including Oprah, Good Morning America, Larry King Live, and MTV. She also appeared on the cover of TIME magazine in 1991, sharing her story and bringing the issue of date rape to the forefront of national thought. Newspapers including the New York Times and the Los Angeles Tribune have featured Ms. Koestner, and she has helped create two films and an interactive CD for students, as well as co-authoring two books on the subject. The books aim to give colleges guidance in establishing effective rape prevention programs.
