Andover Vice

The prospect of such prizes as a free facial, a Lindsey Lohan CD, and above all, a dinner with Dan Bacon ’06 coaxed large numbers of students out of their studies to the West Quad South Casino Night Saturday March.4. Held in Lower Right of Commons and featuring games such as blackjack, poker, roulette, and Chug-A-Lug, Casino Night prompted students to dig out the mousse, cologne, and aviators for a night. Nick Anschuetz ‘08 said, “I heard about all the hot chicks. I heard about the big bucks, and seeing as I am a man that lives on the edge, it felt like the right place to be.” Jake Bean ’08 agreed, “Hot biddies, gambling, drinks, and free food. What else is there to life?” Yes, he really did say “biddies.” Looking dapper, Owen Remeika ’06 said, “Casino Night is amazing. I have way too addictive of a personality for it, but it’s awesome.” Many naïve lowers, unaware of the lurking dangers of addiction and debt, could not contain their enthusiasm. Nick Koh ’08 announced, “I don’t want to graduate, I want ten Casino Nights!” Emma Wood ’07 took a more pragmatic approach. “I love money,” she asserted, “My favorite part about Casino Night is that I don’t have to spend any money, I can just bum it off guys, and then make more.” It was not a scene of prosperity, glitz, and glamour for all. Lamented Teddy Collins ’08, “I gave all my money to someone who went all in and lost it all.” Still, young Teddy found room for optimism in his tender heart and added, “I think it’s very fun.” Though I had quite a bit of luck at the blackjack table early on, tripling my money and coming agonizingly close to a double blackjack, my success proved fleeting. I lost $350 (in fake money, of course) in a game of Chug-A-Lug and decided to call it quits. Emcee Dan Bacon ’06 started the auction at ten o’clock. Prizes ranged from a Season of Crank Yankers uncensored, a manicure from Tips n’ Toes, a European Deep-Cleaning facial, a $25 certificate to Yama. The most coveted prize was a dinner with Dan Bacon. Out of cash and in debt, I tried to sell my soul in exchange for dinner, but, alas, according to Sam Gould ’07 it is only worth $5.50, and Bacon kept upping the bidding price. Finally, School Physician Richard Keller, who, happens to be Dan’s advisor, walked away with it for $20. The vice brought about by the West Quad South Casino Night was perhaps justified by the $800 raised for Oxfam, although a hooker did flash me on School Street last night.