The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page

Back in Action With Uzoma

Guess who’s bizack. Ahhh, finally the gag has been removed, the censorship has been lifted, and the infamous Uzoma Kevin Iheagwara ’04 is back in action. This angry black man has been oppressed long enough. I’ve been tied up in the Phillipian room cellar by “The Men” Craig Ferarro ’03 and Duncan Dwyer ’03. After…

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Top 10 Ways to Spice Up the Blue and Silver

10. Spike the strawberry punch…with cherry Kool-Aid. They’ll never notice. 9. Switch dates for a song, then refuse to switch back because your date is uglier. 8. Wear a tuxedo t-shirt. It puts the semi in semi-formal. 7. Willingly take a breathalyzer test and continue to insist that you’re drunk to look cool, even after…

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Fashionably Loud: Tips from the Mastermind Himself

You can always sense the heterosexual love in the wind-chilled air whenever the Blue and Silver semi-formal dance arrives. For those of you with limited “mad knowledge,” the standard for this ball consists of a gentleman bringing a female chore monkey as his date. But for those of you Casanovas as stylish as I am,…

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Wishful Thinking

With the close of a harsh fall term, the baneful winter converged on campus like a hoard of squirrels. Although the new-fallen snow means we won’t be able to see our furry little friends scampering around and scurrying up trees anymore, you can still sleep safe knowing that they will return to us in the…

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A Holiday Tale: Jessica Schuster and the Fam

I was really, really, looking forward to winter vacation. Honestly, who wasn’t? Snow falling lightly, dorms brightly decorated…even Commons goes all out and adds a festive touch to the food (I mean, my chicken à la leftovers was really supposed to be red and green. Right?) By early December, we’ve had Thanksgiving vacation, and we…

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