The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page

The Art of Finding a Date to the Blue and Silver

In the bleak social tundra of winter term, it seems that only one event can bring real and genuine joy to the masses: The Blue and Silver Semi-Formal Dance. All across campus junior boys huddle en mass, refusing to ask any female in the entire school, out of pure fear. On the flip side of…

The Eighth Page

Christmas on the Moon

Though I wish I could say otherwise, my immediate family is not a particularly festive crew when holiday time rolls around. My mother, usually dresses as a high-effort scary old woman for Halloween, guards the driveway, stalking back and forth across the gravel holding a broom and a moderately-sized bowl of those Reisen chocolate things….

The Eighth Page

Ramon and His Shopping Cart

My parents sit, eyes open wide with amazement, reading through the thick, laminated portfolio – my Christmas list. They are intensely focused on the items on the list, but every so often a question like, “A jet ski?” or “What do you need an industrial-sized barrel of caviar for?” can be heard. Creating the list…

The Eighth Page

Supertool

As the straggling light of winter slips into the new year, we’re assured of a few things: the Chick-fil-a bowl, the hideous visage of Dick Clark, overrated parties and New Year’s resolutions. According to some government census, most Americans claim they will lose weight, or stop smoking. Admittedly, most of these resolutions are ditched about…

The Eighth Page

Wishful Thinking

With the close of a harsh fall term, the baneful winter converged on campus like a hoard of squirrels. Although the new-fallen snow means we won’t be able to see our furry little friends scampering around and scurrying up trees anymore, you can still sleep safe knowing that they will return to us in the…

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