The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page

The McOdyssey

A funny thing happened on my way back from a Madden 2004 session in Troy, the annex of Fuess. More specifically, the funny thing was that I was chased through my dorm by a lunatic, red-headed, 230-pound PG. While I can now write this account of my adventure from the safety of my own room,…

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Va – JJ – Voom

Every season comes to an end. They have to, because otherwise the Andover Boys Cross Country team would never be allowed to eat. While it is sad to see the once-in-a-lifetime squad that was the Sports Section of CXXVI “fade into Bolivian” (thank you, Mike Tyson) we all must remember, after the tears and tickertape…

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Au Revoir, I Love You – Jasper

1/10/04 Dear Features Reader, This serves as your first official notice: as the time winds down on the current Features editors’ tenure, the high standard you have come to know and love as you leaf through the Features pages every week is in great danger. Jasper and Derrick are on the way out. The new…

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Nuclear Weaponry

Since I have been named Editor of the Features section, I have not written an article. I have noticed the devastation that the lack of my articles has wrought, and I am truly sorry to all of those I have harmed. In fact, just the other day I saw a young man clutching the Features…

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Clem Wood: A Journey in Three Parts

From bowl-cut freshman News lackey to tall, dark, and handsome Editor-in-Chief, my career with The Phillipian has included many experiences, things, and people characteristic of a night out with Derrick Kuan ’04, namely: moments out of a bad comedy starring former “Saturday Night Live” (SNL) cast members; rank food; loose women; hard work; and incredible…

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