The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page

Iraq: Burqas, Sand, and More!

You know how some mornings you wake up naked in a dumpster in Baltimore? Me neither. Just checking. A better question to ask would be this: do you, the reader, know what it is that makes America great? The answer is obvious: America is a free country. Iraq, on the other hand, is clearly not…

The Eighth Page

DC This

As I look back on my extensive record of disciplinary infractions, I’m amazed by two things: the diversity/severity of my offenses, and the fact that I have yet to be “DCed.” Despite my ‘clean record,’ I can no longer bear the guilt of my crimes. Therefore, what follows is a thorough, detailed account of my…

The Eighth Page

Winter Term Quiz, Part II

Here is Part II of the Winter Term Quiz by Jessica Schuster ’05, made in order to determine the degree to which the cold and the snow have numbed your thinking. 1.) You open your eyes one morning and see white. No, you’re not dreaming – but there are snowflakes the size of golf balls…

The Eighth Page

Library Libel

As I am a consummately organized and conscientious student, I am confronted on a daily basis by hordes of lesser beings who wish for me to teach them about my study routine. So, I’d like to present A Night at the Library, a scrupulously detailed, play-by-play account of just one of the countless nights I’ve…

The Eighth Page

Oh the Insanity!

While most people would call this school a democracy, with everybody getting a say in the way things are run, I’d call it a dictatorship. You see, although everybody gets a say in this school, nobody is ever heard. Now you might think that I’m going to talk about something serious in this article, but…

1 305 306 307 308 309 311