The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page

Dear Igor

On very special occasions, Zeus wields his holy lightning bolt and comes down to Earth searching for the next big new thing. Zeus has made his divine intervention and decided that a really really funny advice article is exactly what Features needs. So without further ado, I announce the grand opening of “Ask Igor!” “Ask…

The Eighth Page

You Got Housed

My favorite time of year here on Academy Hill is when people start talking about housing. The dorm you live in is a major part of your life at Andover, and every year students have to make the tough decision of which dorms they will call home. Actually, they don’t make the decisions. The decisions…

The Eighth Page

All The President’s Delivery Men

In hitting the campaign trail, I learned three things: 1. People love novelty buttons, especially if they feature my chubby face. 2. People love golf pencils, especially if they have my name on them. 3. People love me. Conscience speaking: Daniel, you are being an idiot; don’t get a big head about this whole presidency…

The Eighth Page

Atila the Fun

Ah, Spring! Nothing reminds me of spring more than two things: the school’s annual whimsical trip to the chocolate factory and spring sports. Spring sports are great because they are athletic events that take place in the spring season. But what do spring sports really mean? Well, the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines spring sports as…

The Eighth Page

Manchvegas

I have sensed recently that the Features section, though, of course, hilariously funny, has been somewhat bland. I have noticed, too, that the section has lacked a certain – je ne sais quoi… flare. Finally, I have just been chastised and verbally berated for writing rambling, unimportant lead-ins to my articles. Therefore, I will remedy…

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