The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Negotiations Between Administration and Local Gang of Girl Scouts Off to a Rocky Start

Members of the administration are currently locked in a vicious battle with the Girls Scouts of America. The dispute rises from the shocking news that Girl Scouts had been passing off gluten-free products as the good stuff. Andover consumes thousands of pounds cookies each week, and many students rely on these cookies to reaffirm their…

The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Visiting Magician Stands Trial for Witchcraft

Dermatologist, fellow Harvard graduate of Head of School John Palfrey’s, and lifelong satanist Dr. Charlie Keller has been a closeted magician for the past 20 years, only performing occasionally for his mother-in-law. Straying from the comforts of an intimate audience, Keller announced he would give his debut performance at Andover last Saturday. Dressed in full…

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