The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: A Letter to the Administration

Dear Andover Administration, Why did you take all the beautiful, old-fashioned tables and chairs in the Freeman Room and replace them with the least comfortable, tackiest things you could find? Why have you decorated the most elegant room on campus with items from the lounge of a galactic government’s headquarters in a low-budget ’70s science…

The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Haverford College Trying Hard to Look Like Extension of Harvard’s Booth

After multiple students report mass confusion near the Harvard booth at this past week’s college fair, allegations are being made against Haverford College, accusing the representatives of falsely advertising their booth. Students noted that Haverford College, a small liberal arts college located in the suburbs of Philadelphia, had been pulling students from the Harvard line…

The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Non Sibi Weekend

Dear Student Body (copy to adults), Below is a list of the various activities scheduled for this year’s Non Sibi Weekend. Please sign up, remaining mindful of any potential athletic conflicts you might have. Skipping your Non Sibi Project will result in three cuts. Kind of ridiculous that some of you lazy elitists wouldn’t show…

The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: The Eighth Page Presents: “Goings-On ‘Round the Town”

Vol. 1: College Counseling Meeting Counselor: All the schools that you’ve listed as possible are unlikely. Student: Okay, so what’s an example of a possible, then? Counselor: … Student: Please. Give me one example of a possible school. Counselor: Have you considered touring any in-state community colleges? Vol. 2: Poetry Reading Q&A Moderator: And now…

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