The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page

Wherefore art thou Murdock

I love Shakespeare. From his tragedies to his beautiful sonnets, if it has something to do with old man Bill Shakespeare, chances are I’ve read it (unlikely), seen it in a movie (more likely,) or eaten a small bit of the paper it was written on (very likely.) Sometimes my love of Shakespeare is even…

The Eighth Page

Dreams of Hatred

Lately certain things about this school have been making me furious. There are the obvious ones, like the fact that I know a crack addict who gets more sleep than I do, and then there are the less obvious ones, like the fact that if you wash your hands in the Commons bathroom, you’ll smell…

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Tomfoolery in Wenchdom

Like so many Uppers, this term I have found myself engulfed in the epic works of the world’s most brilliant dramatist: no, not Gary Busey – I’m talking about Bill Shakespeare. In fact, I’ve become so obsessed with his works that I have decided to offer my own rendition of a set of Shakespearean sonnets…

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Sir Lance

If I were to ask you which section of The Phillipian has the smartest writers, you would say: “Why Sir Lance, the answer ‘tis Features, of course!” I can guarantee you would say that too, because if you didn’t I would have to smack you with an enormous ham. But how can we know that…

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Igor Dennis

To start out this week’s advice column, Igor would like to address a question to the student population as opposed to the other way around. Dear students, I, Igor, have encountered a problem in my life. It seems that although I have dedicated my life to entertaining all of you, my audience, it does not…

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