The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page

Confucius Says

It’s negative three degrees outside and there’s enough snow to make a patriarchal Eskimo village. You’re nearly at the end of Winter Term, and the excessive sanding on the paths and barely-functioning heaters are getting to you. You’ve already lost the power to mold your lips into that gleaming smile for which you’re oh-so-famous. What…

The Eighth Page

A Boy and His Pet Monster

On that beautiful Friday, the day the Spanish refer to as “La Dia de la Head of la Escuela,” (Head of School Day) I trudged my way over to the humble, centrally located dorm of Bartlet. I was not heading over to Bartlet just for the chance of seeing Stephen Fee ’03 in his underpants….

The Eighth Page

Winter Term Quiz, Part II

Here is Part II of the Winter Term Quiz by Jessica Schuster ’05, made in order to determine the degree to which the cold and the snow have numbed your thinking. 1.) You open your eyes one morning and see white. No, you’re not dreaming – but there are snowflakes the size of golf balls…

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The Mind of a Monkey

Thus far, my experiences with The Phillipian and the Features section, in particular, have been like a melodramatic soap opera: full of ups and downs, heartbreak, brain tumors, and pregnant inter-family lovers: namely, my Jewish paramour Jenny Wong ’04. Although I’ve had the privilege…or should I say pleasure, of working with the likes of Co-Editors-In-Chief/family…

The Eighth Page

Bandwidth Bandit

Now, as I was showering and singing Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got to Do with It?” it crossed my mind that we have some very interesting rules on campus. Now, as a proud and honorable member of the PA community [Editor’s Note: People from Lawrence are not to be trusted], I thought to myself, wouldn’t…

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