The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page

Mad Knowledge

For those of you who don’t know me, it may be hard to tell that I possess a 6.2 cumulative grade point average. That means that I get all sixes, and at least one seven each term, and spend a total of 23 minutes a week away from my homework. But you don’t really have…

The Eighth Page

Features Top 10: Uses for New Iraq

10. Fall ’04 Search and Rescue: Desert Style 9. Survivor-esque reality show featuring Elizabeth Taylor and 14 eligible Arab bachelors 8. Because of SARS outbreak, SYA China is replaced by SYA Iraq 7. History 100 establishes annual Iraqi field trip, in which freshmen get first-hand look at sand 6. Spring Break ’05: the Iraqi Riviera…

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Duck & Cover

The hollow echoes of gunshots resound in my ears, and through the dense underbrush I spot a group of angry-looking males. Dressed in camouflage, the men creep through the foliage. Wielding sleek firearms, they glare menacingly. Before I know it, I am staring past one of the sinister-looking guns and into a pair of cold…

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Lethal Weapon

Being someone’s roommate is usually a good way to test a friendship. Simple, daily, seemingly obvious tasks like not placing your shoes directly in the doorway or remembering to close the door before your practice your “special exercises” often ruin a previous viable relationship. Chairs and computers become children in the Kramer v. Kramer of…

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World Annihilation

It has recently come to my attention that the United States has been waging a war against the Middle Eastern power of Iraq for the past month or so. While listening to Billy Joel’s “Oh, What a Night,” I began to contemplate the President’s motives for such a war. How much would such a campaign…

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