The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page

Tingley Holds Emergency Meeting to Announce Sweetness of Bow Tie

Head of School Tyler Tingley replaced last Wednesday’s scheduled lecture, How to Belittle Your Butler, with an emergency All-School Meeting topic change. The sound of air raid sirens – the signal of an emergency All-School Meeting – cut sharply through the frigid New Hampshire air as hordes of sullen, moping students scuffled, eyes downward, toward…

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Dominican Thanksgiving

So we all know that while Thanksgiving break is soon to be upon us, it is similarly soon to be unupon us (i.e. over). With that in mind, some of you might be wondering what’s the point? Well, sir, the point is that you’re somewhere that isn’t classes, and that’s always a good thing. Even…

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Tommy Brighton Leads Fund Drive for Locker Rooms

In recent weeks, over a thousand dollars has been donated by male athletes to Exeter’s athletic facilities. Specifically, the money has been given to build dividers in the men’s shower area and provide bathing suits for all students who regularly shower in the gym. “I think it’s great that kids are giving to our facilities….

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Turkey Rights

Tree-Hugging, Hippy Moron Protests for Turkey Rights Boxford, Illinois – In light of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, area resident and total communist jerk Tom Hollis has been pioneering the fight for Turkey Rights. “I don’t see how people could honor a national holiday that needlessly slaughters millions and millions of turkeys,” said the whiny, oversensitive…

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Liberarians For All

Last week, I was asked to write a couple of quick paragraphs about the Male Exeter Libertarian Club to help all of you guys understand the MELC. As the current president, I gladly accepted, feeling my insight and personal experience will provide all of you readers with the best understanding of MELC. Since we only…

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