The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Meet the New Writers!

Sebastian Frankel ’20, known simply to the Andover community as “Frankel,” is the second-ranked Frankel on campus after school president and model Andover student Eastlyn Frankel ’18. He is a giraffe. Grace MacShane ’20 still hasn’t grown out of her horse girl phase. Fake opens all of her Snapchats. Says she’s not like the other…

The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: The Week in Quotes

“Scores are much, much less important than the story you’re trying to tell.” – The American Assocaition of Admissions Officers (AACAO) on how the quality of a film should be judged “You need recovery time to maintain an optimum level of concentration.” – The 2017-2017 Academic Planner on the proper way to handle oranges during…

The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Common Uses for The Phillipian

“HI THERE! MY NAME’S PHILLY. WHAT’S YOURS? YOU’RE PROBABLY WONDERING, “WHAT’S THIS LITTLE GUY DOING IN MY PAPER?” WELL, LET ME TELL YOU. I’M THE PHILLIPIAN’S OFFICIAL MASCOT, AND TODAY I’LL BE SHOWING YOU SOME OF THE MANY USES OF THE PHILLIPIAN BEYOND SIMPLY DELIVERING A WEEKLY DOSE OF NEWS TO THE PA COMMUNITY. SO,…

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Phillipian Satire: Andover Begins New Fundraising Campaign to Pay for Fundraising Luncheon

Visibly excited and eager to share their proposal with Andover students, parents, and alumni, trustees and administration officials jointly unveiled the school’s newest fundraising initiative last weekend to pay off expenses from the Community Fundraising Luncheon, also last weekend. Although the push’s monetary target was undisclosed, those presenting stated that the donations received will be…

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