The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page Presents: The Week’s Top Headlines

Precocious Young Republican Just Wants to ‘Play Devil’s Advocate’ During Class Discussion School’s Local Satire Section Bans Canada Goose Jokes, Can’t Help Itself Anyway Commons Cup Conundrum Solved? School Has Water Fountains Snow Stressed Out After Short Stay at Andover, Returns After Voluntary Leave of Absence Paresky Commons Outsourcing Provision of Broken Ice Cream Machine…

The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page Presents: Trustees Initiate 3 Step Plan To Prevent Intimacy in Trustee’s Room

Andover Trustees were distressed and sickened as they sat in the ornate Trustees Room in George Washington Hall to hear a report from Phillips Academy Public Safety (PAPS) of “student misconduct” taking place there over the weekend. Cornelius Van Trapp III, who at first understood the term “student misconduct” to mean plagiarism, reports, “I was…

The Eighth Page

The Eighth Page Presents: Point/Counterpoint

In which one Eighth Page contributor probes both sides of a controversial issue. This week, Aidan Barber ’20 tackles the season of WINTER. Pros:  There is no need for me to write a piece about the pros of winter, since no one in the history of music has ever put it more beautifully than Quavo:…

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