10. She doesn’t mind your affinity for baked beans.

9. He likes to cuddle.

8. She snores almost as loudly as you do.

7. His name isn’t Tasapolos.

6. She doesn’t mind being seen with you in public.

5. He wears a blue skirt, and you paid 50 cents for him.

4. She doesn’t mind your Pokémon obsession.

3. He doesn’t know about your nickname: “Hillshire Farms.”

2. She doesn’t write for Arts.

1. He has a subscription to the Features section.