The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: The Week’s Top Headlines

Exterminator Hired By School to Deal With An Especially Relentless Infestation of Day Student Lowers in Gelb Science Center

“No 6s” English Teacher Wants At Least Eight Layers of Irony Per Interpretation of the Odyssey

World Interfaith Harmony Week Was Secretly a Front to Win Guinness World Record for Largest Blanket Ever Knitted

Student Uses First February Free to Get Coffee With Their FBI Agent to Celebrate Their Return

“I don’t want to toot my own horn or anything, but…,” Says Student About to Toot Their Own Horn

Root Beer Deemed “Too Racy” By Den Officials

Feb 8, 2019