The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: The Week’s Top Headlines

New Lower Facing Social Exile For Failing to Reminisce About Good Old Days of Freshman Spring

Gelb Office Candy Basket Disappointingly Empty For Third Week In A Row

New Research Reveals Sweet Potato Pie Is Definitely Not a Dessert

Edgy Upper Girl Wants to Know if You’ve Heard of Lana Del Rey

Whole School Collectively Runs Out of Outfits They Got For Christmas, Back to Wearing Andover Apparel Until Next January

Burnt Out Senior Doesn’t Really Care When Head of School Day Is

14 Students Claim Single Airpod in Lost Property as Their Own

Jan 11, 2019