The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: New! Winter Electives

LIT420: Nature and Its Solutions: Relieve your stress and cultivate leaves — take part in fun group Sanctuary outings. The final will include a marketing pitch for your very own homeopathic remedy/essential oil.

MUS617: History of Bostonian Music: “Shippin’ Up To Boston” is on constant repeat while you wait in line for your Loop.

ART666: Bob Ross Studies: Take your brush and just…uhh…beat the devil out of it. Pre-requisites: A positive disposition and a course in exorcisms.

MTH98596: AP BCXYZ Calc: You’ve made it this far, now figure out how to have friends that aren’t calculators.

ART543: Avian Architecture: Design and build luxury bird condos for high-flying clients.

ART202: Trash and its Processes: A course for Juniors on how to use the den trash cans, because apparently we need to teach you that now.

CCO225: Intro to College Counseling: Basic overview of how to destroy people’s dreams and piss on the wreckage, will delve into ideas such as forgetting to send in letters of recommendation and misreporting ACT scores.

INT565: Well, That’s Life! : They pay us way too little to teach; student mental health is on the decline; everybody talks about climate change but never even takes recycling seriously; nobody addresses hatred until it makes the news; you stopped reading after I mentioned climate change. Prerequisites: Waking Up, Sheeple

THD8000: Critics: Each student will ruthlessly critique every Black Box theater production in the winter term. Immediate 6 to the student that makes the creator of the play break down in tears. May be repeated for credit.