The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: The Week’s Top Headlines

Athlete Risks it All and Showers Without Flip-Flops in Boys’ Locker Room

Illness Spreading Around Campus Traced Back to Bartlet’s Communal Toothbrush

Friday Night Showing of ‘A Quiet Place’ Just Footage of Day Student Lounge

Uppers To Be Officially Granted Permission to Complain About Work Next Sunday

The Truth is Now Abundantly Clear

Local Shepherd Should Just Tend to His Own Goddamn Flock

Oct 12, 2018