The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: The Week’s Top Headlines

Paresky Commons Renamed ‘George Walker Bush Prism’

Student Commits to Doing Andover “For Just One More Week,” for 50th Consecutive Week

Local Rat Family Mourns Loss of Missing Son After Seventh Week Without Notice

“Commons Coffee Tastes Like Rat,” Says Lower Excited by Even The Slightest Change in Their Routine

New Month Sees Sharp Decline in Number of Andover Students Listening to ‘September’ by Earth, Wind & Fire

Oct 5, 2018