The Eighth Page

Get Out Your LEGUMES and PUMPKIN SEEDS… It’s Roasting Time!

Auguste White ’17 and Eliot Zaeder ’17

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, predictable.

Grade: Andlovers.

Beth Krikorian ’17 and Sam Bird ’18

Another in-season lad…

Grade: … and jock president.

Janneke Evans ’18 and Henry Ennen ’17

White. Tall. Into sports.

Grade: Just so… nice!

Allegra Stewart ’18 and Jack Twomey ’17

He’s always wanted to be in Azure.

Grade: Uncomfortable.

Rosie Poku ’17 and Zach Ruffin ’17

Ruffin may not get to rock his red Beats, but this duo will tear up the dance floor.

Grade: Good vibes only.

Janet Conklin ’17 and Matt Wellstead ’18:

Crew legend Matt Wellstead ’18 winning at crew and life. Grade: Legends.

Andrew Pittman ’17 and Robert Williams ’17

They’re not being brave, it’s ironic.

Grade: Unimpressed.

Ellie Formisano ’17 and Walker Huff ’17

They are picture-perfect!

Grade: If only they smiled.

Alexa Tsay ’17 and Jack Legler ’17

She’s into those who wield the puck.

Grade: #15, #16, #17, #18.

Myoshi Williams ’17 and Jason Reynolds ’17

Danny Evans couldn’t make it back this year.

Grade: Super Sub?

Ajay Menon ’17 and Margot Forti ’17

Don’t drive down the wrong side of the road!

Grade: Elevated.

Lydia Paris ’17 and Reuben Philip ’18

She already gave him Blue Key Head.

Grade: Not like that, you creep.

Whitney Garden ’17 and Ben Andresen ’17

He gave her mono.

Grade: *Someone gave her mono.

Nicole Durett ’17 and Cameron Gillis ’17

But they can’t roll on the floor together at prom!

Grade: LOVE.

John Wu ’17 and Julia Lane ’17

They wanted to link up in Cambridge,

but Boston Marriott will have to do.

Grade: Not Crimson.

Paige Morss ’17 and Ace Ellsweig ’18

Easily the funniest duo at Prom.

Grade: Right?

Olivia Brokaw ’18 and Christian Lippey ’17

“I know I share a room with my mom, but we have twin beds.”

Grade: She must be a hotel digger.

Zoe Oasis ’17 and Thomas MacWilliams ’18

Seeking an Oasis for Ale his problems.

Grade: Write a song about it.

Margot Steiner ’17 and Conor Holihan ’17

“So that’s him in the profile picture?”

Grade: No, that’s the one before the last one.

Karissa Kang ’17 and Flynn Bryan ’18

The post-prom poetry’s going to be wild.

Grade: “This one’s called ’Topography.’”

Hannah Berkowitz ’17 and Charlie Mayhew ’18

Maybe this will help him get out some of his
repressed heterosexuality.

Grade: Real Jew, Fake Jew.

Nikki Dlesk ’17 and Mike McGreal ’17

Most likely to raise three blonde children with a
golden retriever. Grade: Suburban utopia.

Alexa Goulas ’18 and Arthur Paleologos ’17

“RIP homie. But thanks for the girl.”

Grade: He’s looking out for a friend.

Ananda Kao ’18 and Brandon Barros ’17

“Actually, can you put your goggles back on?”

Grade: Is he going to wear heels too?

Laurel Wain ’17 and Luke Bitler ’17

Not catching crabs.

Grade: That’s a crew thing, if you didn’t know.

Evelyn Mesler ’17 and Nick Isenhower ’18

(and all other rowers)

*insert generic crew roast here.* Grade: Creating unique roasts for each pair is buying into the cult.

Liz Irvin ’17 and Thomas Glover ’18

His Last Chance to spend quality time with Liz.

Grade: The wrong sister?

Ashley Tucker ’18 and Alex Apgar ’17

The one time being goofy paid off.

Grade: Was it worth it?

Daniel Tran ’17 and Katherine Sweetser ’17

Not even going to roast.

Grade: Y’all the GOAT.

Eliza Bienstock ’18 and Howard Johnson ’17

Poor finishing, on and off the court.

Grade: Galloping into the Friend Zone.

Marina Hunt ’17 and Edward Elson ’17

He promised to engrave her name on every

building his family funded.

Grade: #andovergivingday.

Brooke Bidwell ’17 and Thomas Godwin ’17

It’s okay, she’s changed him.

Grade: Wait, no, he just snapped me.

Emma Kelley ’17 and Turner Corbett ’17

She needed a rebound. He needed a refresher.

Grade: Year of the PG.

Sarah Rigazio ’18 and Ian Welsh ’17

Did you buy her a fidget spinner too?

Grade: Classy prom ask.

Claudia Leopold ’18 and Jair Suazo ’17

Opposites attract…

Grade: If you force them to.

Melanie Singh ’18 and Sean Pan ’17

“It’s hard to describe, but everything looks like moving sands.” Grade: Materialism personified.

Eastlyn Frankel ’18 and Rahmel Dixon ’17

What a nice Tuck-sedo.

Grade: Reverse Donald.

Elizabeth Welch ’18 and Keegan Cummings ’17

Conversations about sports!

Grade: “How’s your team doing this season?”

Lauren Overly ’17 and Teymour Farman-Farmaian ’17

Eh, they can have each other.

Grade: $$$ and corn.

Reagan Posorske ’17 and Rob Jones ’16

Will she ever get (Tom)sik of him?

Grade: Tuf(ts) love.

Susan Yun ’17 and Kevin Kastholm ’17

She said it’s easier to just take a Senior.

Grade: Another one bites the dust.

Ally Klionsky ’17 and Rudd Fawcett ’18

He thought he was doing her a favor.

Grade: Get off your high horse.

May 26, 2017