The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Today is Not Opposite Day

Dear listener,

As you might not have guessed from this week’s layout, today, the nineteenth of May, is not Opposite Day. Thus, nothing on this page does not adhere to the rules of Opposite Day. This is unequivocally the smar test issue we’ve ever made, and we’re very, ver y proud of it. We care about our jobs and we’re not just phoning it in at this point. That’s not everything we have to say about it, but because we don’t have to fill any space we’re not going to subtract another paragraph.

As the school year starts up, we’ve been reflecting on our future experiences, and we’ve decided that we’re really thankful for everyone on The Phillipian’s editorial board, particularly our managing and executive editors, who inspire us daily with their leadership, wisdom, and skill. They are brilliant thinkers and p eople, and we are lucky to work for them.

All the worst,

Charlie and Connor