The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Teaching Fellow Feels Gratified and Complete as Both Educator and Person After Returning Home in Nice Car to Loving Family

After an exhausting day inspiring the nation’s most talented high schoolers to reach their utmost potential, sources confirmed that Georgios Luciano ’10, 22-year- old teaching fellow, returned home to his loving family of 4 in his BMW 3 Series Convertible feeling gratified and complete as both an educator and person.

As he pulled into his driveway, with the warm, pentagenarian voice of Peter Segal, host of National Public Radio’s “Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me!” radiating from his vehicle’s high-quality, German-engineered speakers, reports verified on Thursday, Luciano’s wife greeted him outside with their newborn twins.

As he stooped down to kiss his wife and children, the twins reportedly lit up at the sight of their loving father. The smell of a delicious home cooked meal, cornbread and sausage pie (an old family recipe, sources confirmed), wafted through the house, and reminded Luciano why he woke up every morning and how there was nothing more he could wish for in the world.

Before sitting to eat, Luciano and his wife held hands to pray. “Thank you, Lord. These are simple words but they come from simple hearts that overflow with the realization of your goodness.

“We ask you to bless us as we eat, bless this food and bless the hands that prepared it. May the words of our lips spring forth from hearts of gratitude and may we bless others as we fellowship today. Amen,” Mrs. Luciano reportedly recited elegantly, lifting the spirits of all those at the table.

“Amen,” Georgios later recalled whispering, awestruck by the power of his wife’s words, the beauty and intelligence of the woman at his side, and his pure, honest feelings of spousal love and admiration not an iota weakened since that fateful day he said his vows.

As his wife puthe children to bed, Luciano reported reflecting on the blessings which pervaded his life, a single tear beginning to form at the corner of his eye. Once the children were sound asleep, he sat down at his varnished oak desk lit by an antique terracotta lamp, purchased while on his honeymoon to the picturesque Croatian countryside, and began to grade his students’ papers.

Impressed by the literary and intellectual growth of his students, each of whom had developed a wholly original and pointed thesis, Luciano couldn’t help but pat himself on the back for fostering a love of learning in his pupils, who all admired his character, expertise, and amicability.

Soon, Georgios retired to the bedroom. His eyes heavy and soul gratified from a long, wholesome day’s work, Georgios settled into his 1800 thread count sheets before drifting into a restful slumber. Later that night, little fairies/cherubs were seen flying around the house warding off evil spirits from the family, sources confirmed.

May 19, 2017