The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Non Sibi Weekend

Dear Student Body (copy to adults),

Below is a list of the various activities scheduled for this year’s Non Sibi Weekend. Please sign up, remaining mindful of any potential athletic conflicts you might have. Skipping your Non Sibi Project will result in three cuts. Kind of ridiculous that some of you lazy elitists wouldn’t show up, huh? Pretzels and turkey sandwiches will be provided.

Love,

The Community Engagement Office


  • Like four hours of boring sustainability stuff but then you get to look at pigs (p.m.)

  • Doing just enough to feel good until next year, but not enough to exert yourself (a.m.)

  • Lifting the curse of the Sphinx over the children of North Boston (p.m.)

  • Picking weeds in a field in 90 degree weather, which will be the only choice left within minutes (a.m.-p.m.) Bus 1

  • Picking weeds in a field in 90 degree weather, which will be the only choice left within minutes (a.m.-p.m.) Bus 2

  • Attending a three hour seminar on why it’s called Community Engagement (p.m.)

  • Teaching Exeter freshmen how to read (a.m.)

  • Sorting 3mm Tylenol P.M. for the elderly over FM radio and Snapchat DM (a.m.)

  • Bathing the feet of the Foretellers (p.m.)

  • Making friendship bracelets to save the Nautilus (a.m.)

Apr 21, 2017