The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: What’s New in Eighth Pageville!

— We made the switch from a six column layout to a five column layout, which took a shocking amount of time to do. We hope it’s worth it.

— This is our eighth issue of the Eighth Page, unless Charlie miscounted. The end can’t come fast enough.

— Connor explained to Charlie how figs are pollinated, and now Charlie is never going to eat a Fig Newton again.

— Connor had never heard the song “Perfect Day” by rock and roll legend and punk pioneer Lou Reed, so Charlie played it for him twice in a row.

— Board meeting took such a long time this week that Charlie left during the middle and bought a pack of Ritz crackers from the den. Connor went to the bathroom and missed most of it.

— Commentary Editor Emily Ndiokho complained on Tuesday that we were playing too much David Bowie. What would you rather us play, Emily? Some other glam rock, plastic soul, new wave visionary?

— We read that joke to Emily and she laughed.

– Connor didn’t know how to type an “em” dash, and was too proud to ask anyone for help.

Apr 13, 2017