The Eighth Page

Features — Phillipian Satire: Ding Dong the Witch Ain’t Dead

Betty McColl ’18 is president of “Andover for a Better Future,” a student-run club dedicated to rooting out global hackers who are hidden among the student body. The Phillipian sat down with McColl for an interview last Tuesday to discuss her process for identifying and capturing the online criminals.

So, Betty, where and when on campus do you typically see hackers performing illicit activities?

“There are three major places that I know for sure have the hackers. The Makerspace, the big stall in the OWHL bathroom, and the table by the day student lockers. They are active chiefly at dawn and dusk.”

What methods are you using to track hackers  down?

“My team and I have focused mostly on surveying these areas 24/7. We have stopped abiding sign-in rules. This is too important… [The job] can get kind of tedious, so sometimes we go on massive searches and pretend that our phones are torches and that the utensils from Commons are pitchforks. It’s not often we catch someone like that, though. The witch hunts we conduct on social media are a lot more successful.”

Thank you for your time. Any final things you’d like to say?

“As Andover adjusts to the technology-based education of the twenty-first century…  [we] at ‘Andover for a Better Future’ think finger-pointing, mass hysteria, and outrage are the most constructive ways to inspire positive change here and around the world.”

Oct 28, 2016