Features: Stronger Together

The parietal rules on our campus are not only unhelpful but also hurtful. If you think I’m biased, I’m not. When the topic of parietals came up in our dorm, I asked a question regarding the rules, and the mere thought of my being involved in a parietal sent over thirty boys and three house counselors into hysterical laughter. Whenever I try to ask a house counselor for permission, they always tell me I could be so much less awkward.

A PAPS officer oversees Alex Bernhard’s imaginary parietal.A.RT225A/THE PHILLIPIAN

A PAPS officer oversees Alex Bernhard’s imaginary parietal.


Andover, I’m tired of pretending to have a girl in my room, and frankly this ostracizing process is exactly what leads to kids sneaking around campus and getting caught in the SamPhil Elevator – not that I would know, but I heard from a reliable source that that happened to a kid a few years ago. Instead, I propose a better idea: we have a third party sit in on the parietal. It could be anyone from a mother to a PAPS officer. This would allow people to have the same amount of awkwardness as before, but the parietal would be completely monitored throughout the entire 8:00 to 10:30 p.m. process.

Sep 29, 2016