Features

The Phillipian Features Section Mourns Summer

Hello, Andover. Welcome back. We are so happy to see your faces and feel your hands on our pages after three long months. We had a fantastic summer, filled with new friends, new freckles, and global-warming-inspired ice baths. After hearing “HAGS” countless times before your departure last June, we pray The Hag Cult didn’t in fact hunt you down and turn you into a witch. But based on your Snapchat stories and various social media posts, we know you had a few fantastic “wet and wild” moments. But as they say, “summer friends don’t stay,” and thus, you are back at Andover… still with no friends. Luckily, you have Features for the next nine months of your life, bringing light to your darkness and laughter to your tears. We sure have missed you, our faithful patrons. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the next 180 days of sleeplessness and the Tang Institute’s mysterious presence in your life.

You on the first day…

I’m here. Finally. Where I’ve been destined to be since I was a tadpole.

Alarm went off at 4:30 a.m. today. I wrap my Andover scarf around my neck for the #ChooseAndover picture in front of the Samuel Phillips Hall.

As I munch on my zucchini brownies and drink my sweet-potato smoothies, an entourage of vegans encircles me, introducing novel, intellectual ideas such as replacing my morning eggs with poached quinoa. Yum! I can already tell that this is going to be a healthy year!

I cannot wait to start my classes. I just know that Andover is a stepping-stone to an Ivy-League college, and that’s the only reason I’m here despite the myriad reasons stating otherwise. For example, at the beginning of each class, we went around and said our pGPAs. I love the competitive aspect of this school; it’s everywhere, especially when people get in line for food. “Girl, I will cut you” has taken a whole new meaning. Even outside of the classroom, the debates between Republicans and Democrats are wild. Global warming and Elizabeth Warren? Say those magic words in front of a liberal and conservative and you’ve got entertainment for hours!

I’m finally about to go to bed, at a respectable 8:00 p.m., just early enough to do final sign-in, and think to myself, four more years! Hehe, the Seniors expressed their jealousy loud and clear.

You one week later…

After being here for a week, I have officially pulled my first all-nighter, shot-gunned red bull, and gained 11 pounds. When I do sleep, I have nightmares of non-descript girls forcing me to wear Bean Boots, Lululemon leggings and jetty-red Vineyard Vines Shep Shirts.

I’ve also discovered a pretty terrifying thing from the first week of school: You become close with people. Too close. I just experienced my first awkward run-in with a teacher in the bathroom, and relief could not have come any faster. I was supposed to love being around my teachers constantly. I did, until I found out my teacher was my house counselor, the advisor for my knitting club, and the coach of my varsity shopping team. That’s a little much.

I was so eager to discover so many personal traits about the different buildings on campus. So far, I’ve found out that Graves and the back staircase of Gelb welcome more than just musicians and chemists: I’ve been told to stop there a few times.

I think Andover will be O.K., though. Walking into the Sanctuary in an attempt to relax and enjoy all that Mother Nature has to offer, I realized that the greenery can take your mind off things. I’m about to go to bed after officially being here for a week, and I think to myself: Four more years.

Sep 16, 2016